As long as I can remember ... there's always been AIDS: in memory of lives lost in 25 years of AIDS.

• Author: Engo, Suzanne

MY STORY IS ONE AMONG MILLIONS of young people who do not remember a time without a computer, MTV or AIDS. When I was very little, my mother sat me down and told me about a pandemic that would eventually become one of the greatest challenges and threats my generation would face. What I didn't know was that "as long as I would remember, there would always be AIDS".*

AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN AIDS.

Nobody really talked about it because it only happened to gay people--apparently--and no one really talked about it, but mummy said others could have it too.

AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN AIDS.

In high school, we got condoms and were told all the time to practice safe sex, or AIDS will come in time. There's always temptation, there's always the rest, but put on a rubber, you kids do your best.

The church said no condoms, no sex is the best, just zip up your trousers and don't show your chest. Boys are shame, shame, shame; you get in that business and you'll be to blame. I don't really like boys and they don't seem to care, so long as there's no sex, no AIDS will be there. As for boys and boys I don't really care, behind closed doors I'm not even there.

AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN AIDS.

Magic Johnson has it, he doesn't look sick? Tom Hanks and Denzel, what the hell? What's really going on? What is really being said? It's all over TV and on the news, it seems like this AIDS is getting taboo.

AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN AIDS.

Everyone's tired of hearing about AIDS and condoms too--leave us alone, we know what to do!

AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN AIDS.

I haven't had sex yet, no drugs here. But he pulled down my shorts in a bad way and pushed down my head.... It's crazy to think that the first time is like this, I hope there's no AIDS here, I wish I was dead.

AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN AIDS.

I can't believe I'm almost eighteen, and after all those lectures, I didn't know what to do. He said he forgot the condoms and that he loved me too; I asked about testing and who he'd been with? I know that's not enough, I know it's not true, but finally I'm pretty and boys think so, too.

I can't tell my mum, she'll kill me for sure; she'll throw away the keys and lock up the door. After all that I said and the work that I've done, I made a mistake, my mouths open wide; I'm such a hypocrite, it's like I have lied....

I know what I'll do, I've got it: I'll...