It is not as if somebody said there would be no miracle.

• Position: First Person - HIV infection

I was born and brought up in a wealthy and educated family. My father is a military pilot, my mother a teacher. Thanks to my mother, the atmosphere at home was always calm and easy, and my father could often find some interesting activities and entertainment for us. I was a sociable and lively child with an inquiring mind, and I had many friends and close acquaintances. As I was growing up, I explored the world and was convinced that whatever might happen, I would have the support of my family.

After finishing high school, I chose the Institute myself. The competition was tough, but I used all my energy and spent 15 to 16 hours a day studying. And I was successful! While at the Institute, I decided then that I would have my own family only when I was able to support myself. I never discussed or condemned other points of view concerning this issue, but I was firmly convinced that my child would be born in a wealthy environment.

Having graduated, I decided to go to Kiev where, I believed, there were many more chances of finding a good job in the capital. While searching for a job, I needed somewhere to live and something to eat, so I earned a living whenever possible: I worked as a waitress, bartender and salesperson. My parents didn't support me much as they understood that I had to make it on my own. A year later, I found what I was looking for: a job in my professional field; young and interesting colleagues; an opportunity to show my worth; and a substantial salary (even by Ukrainian standards).

Not completely believing in my happiness, I rushed into this whirligig. Then I got acquainted with my future husband and after one year we got married. Six months later, I discovered I was pregnant. My family, friends and acquaintances were very happy for me, as everything happened as I had dreamed. I was very proud of myself and was sure that I deserved this happiness.

I registered at the Women Consultancy, a maternity clinic for antenatal care, but didn't take the necessary tests because of a lack of time. I took them around the sixth month of my pregnancy but ignored having an HIV test. Why should I? How could I contract HIV? However, the nurse said she would use the blood drawn in one syringe for several tests: PW (for syphilis), blood group, rhesus factor and HIV. After two weeks, I was asked to repeat the analysis because they said the result was positive. Interestingly, I did not react at that time as I thought that in my country nothing...