Diamond, Michael J. My Father Before Me: How Fathers and Sons Influence Each Other Throughout Their Lives.

• Author: Purk, Janice Kay
• Position: Book review

Diamond, Michael J. My Father Before Me: How Fathers and Sons Influence Each Other Throughout Their Lives. New York: W.W. Norton & Co., Inc., 2007. xxi + 239 pages. Cloth, $24.95.

In this book, Michael J. Diamond, a practicing clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst, discusses the relationship of fathers and sons throughout the life span in each other's development. In so doing, he combines research information on this issue which is not often addressed with his practice experience to create an easy-reading yet insightful book.

Diamond investigates the exchange between fathers and sons based on his experiences and on his years in counseling. The vignettes share the multifaceted relations that fathers and sons experience. These stories are filled with emotion. The author's examination of both qualitative and quantitative research supports these stories to increase their value to the reader.

Diamond addresses the commonly held belief that children can be raised as well without fathers as with fathers. In disputing that claim, he sees the interaction of father and child as intertwined and reciprocal and extremely valuable in shaping a child. "Becoming a father, one of life's most important challenges, ... is a complex interaction during which the father influences the way the child develops and, simultaneously, his son affects the way the father handles the parallel transitions" (p. 8).

Diamond examines the roles of fathers in raising both male and female children. He then specifically explores the relationship between father and son, seeing that as significantly different in the attitudes and expectations of both parties. Beginning with his own experiences of being a son and then experiencing the birth of his children, Diamond examines the need to learn to be the father. He argues that men need to cultivate their own emotional lives to be able to engage with their sons and enhance their growth. He then describes the stages of a father's development. Using the standards of psychology, especially Erikson's life span approach, Diamond moves beyond them to assess the changing life relationships and roles. He finds that men face empty nest later than women and characterizes this time as an opportunity for newfound closeness between fathers and sons. He then returns to integrity stage in old age; as fathers face life review, they evaluate their role in their sons' lives and reach for reconciliation when needed.

My Father Before Me is a...